Life is Not for the Faint of Heart
I was talking with my mom lately about something she was going through, I followed up with something I’m going through, and she said “man, life is not for the faint of heart, huh?”
And we nodded our heads in solidarity.
But here’s the reality… I am a firm believer that resilience is not just for the struggles of life. Resilience is for daily life. You’ve got normal everyday stuff…the political climate, job stress, raising children, the go-go-go mentality of our culture, financial stress, being stuck in a phase of life that you thought should have ended years ago (ummm. Hello singleness), dreaming of being a parent, being in the thick of parenting, paying off debt, grinding to start a new company, being a chauffeur for your children, the everyday mundane tasks that have to be done…the list goes on.
And then you add on the struggles that shock you to your core out of nowhere, partner loss (that one sure came out of nowhere), grief, injuries, divorce, job loss and suddenly rebuilding a career…I could fill pages with this list, (but I’m not going to do that because I’m more of a positive polly). The point is….how is anyone functioning without resilience?
I believe resilience is not just about grinding through the hard stuff. This is a hot take, and you can choose to believe it or not, but I believe that even in the mundane, even in the most challenging times, life gets to be beautiful…and dare I say joyful...and to me that is the real work of resilience. Not just getting through and surviving, but doing the actual work to live fully (whatever that looks like in the particular place you’re in)
That is not to say to ignore the pain. Please don’t ignore the pain. But there can be joy added in. There NEEDS to be joy added in. Imagine how bitter you would become otherwise…(Disclaimer: I am not talking about the earliest days of grief or trauma. Those are a beast all of their own with an entirely set of facts. When I lost my partner I survived, and I’m so damn proud of myself for surviving. That darkness was beyond anything I’ve experienced. Joy did not feel accessible in those days (when I look back on them, I do think there were moments of joy, but I didn’t know that was what I was feeling at the time). But that is a post for another day…)
I fully believe life gets to be good no matter how hard it is. I am in a TOUGH season. I acknowledge how tough it is. I acknowledge how drab it is. I also acknowledge all the good that gets to exist even in a season that I will never want to return to. I will never look back on 2023-2025 and say “you know what years I really want to repeat? 2023-2025 (literally laughing out loud at this thought right now). But that doesn’t mean I have to be miserable in these years. The good exists and the joy exists, and they keep me loving life. They keep me from being bitter. I was told recently “I think it’s so great how strong you are for making the most of a hard season”. Sure, it’s a strong choice. But I honestly feel like it’s the best choice I could made. I think I responded with “what’s the alternative?” Being miserable?
In the words of my Grandpa….HARD PASS.
So what to expect here….
A lot of resilience work, resilience tips, and my wild and wonderful and sometimes terribly mundane life mixed in. Because it’s a beautiful one, even when it’s hard, even when it’s boring. And we can all say…Life is not for the faint of heart.
And we will nod our heads in solidarity.
And that’s how the world keeps on spinning.
Cordially, Cara